Adventure · aesthetic · journal · landscape · mental health · mental illness · mood · Photography · Self Care · thoughts · Uncategorized · Urban Exploration · writing

I’m proud of myself

I think more than I ever have been.

I mean, my whole life has been a rollercoaster, but the last few years were very trying for me.

The way I went from rock bottom, being hurt, trying to hurt myself, literally zero control of my emotions, having to move…the list of the shit show I call 2020, could go on and on…

I am now doing things and getting recognition for things I never thought I would even be capable of. For a lot of people it wouldn’t mean that much, I’m assuming…but knowing how many times I could have given up, like I had already done so many times in my past. The second shit gets too hard for me to manage.

There is no quit in me anymore. I think the mental torment I endured almost thickened my skin. I have nothing to lose, If I believe in myself I can achieve even more than what I have which is scary but exiting.

Being acknowledged for hard work, especially when you question your own capabilities more than anyone else around you…feels fucking awesome.

Uncategorized

Whats happening

Usually when I go through a breakup I like to get a lil…risky.. I guess.. lol

Lately, i’m literally CHILLIN’

I think my ex like tainted me. He was the result of a breakup fling. He was also a 3 year nightmare.

It’s like i’m very okay with living in the Sahara for now.

I have almost no interest in guys, and guys that I used to see now and again still text me and I always just wish they would go away.

..If I don’t text you back . TRUST. for me, especially…thats a big…*please fuck off now*

I go on these dating apps but get bored so fast.

SooOoooOo Whatever.

Self care dood.

Uncategorized

My coworker literally just made me want to walk into work

STONED in the name of 4/20 with dagger eyes pointing at him.

I don’t know who this lil shit thinks he is to wake me up to a slack talking to me and my coworker like trash.

I’m a 28 year old grown adult (who finds mornings very important to my mental health) and my other co worker, your speaking like that to, is a 30 something year old man with more shit on his shoulders than anyone I know during Covid.

So this isn’t elementary school, don’t threaten to snitch to our manager about something that has never been a problem until you started this power trip. You have the same job title as us. You whine more than anyone I’ve worked with and I literally worked at TJ Maxx with washed up old women who hated their lives. I don’t like saying it like that. (..but it really did get scary at 3 years, becoming those women fucking terrified me)

The amount of power trips at once is beyond what my xanax prescription covers currently.

city · mental illness · mood · thoughts · Uncategorized · writing

I don’t want to be vaccinated

Usually it would be because I hate needles.

But I just don’t want something injected into me without seeing reactions or side effects that could happen.

I’ve been medicated more than half my life. Side effects don’t always happen the second the medication is in your body, having its way with you.

I just don’t understand why everyone acts like its voting. Like post it all over social media and tell everyone you know that “you’re vaccinated”

(and yes, at work…I still need to take your temp. even after you announce your vaccination)

Listen, when I can take this fucking mask off, and dodge temp checks. Sure, then shoot me up with that shit I guess..but until then. No. Chill.